The Fastest Year

Um, guys? The month of May is three days away. WHAT EVEN. I’m not prepared for this. Except, I really am because I need consistently warm weather ASAP. And I’m ready to find out if this baby is a boy or a girl!

We’ve had a whirlwind couple weeks, and we are looking forward to a little bit of down time this month. 🙂 Here’s what we’ve been up to the last few weeks.

We celebrated handsome Henry’s 2nd birthday!

Smart man loves pizza. And he sometimes eats it out of his dump trucks.

He is really into presents now.

And cake. 😂

Andrew and I drove to Kansas City and saw the man, the myth, the legend…John Mayer. 🙌🏼

True story – I threw up in the car on the way but powered through a headache and nausea because HE IS AMAZING.

Seriously, I teared up when he started singing. Haha.

On the way home, we had to make a Lambert’s stop. 😋

We had a delightful Easter Sunday full of family and fun!

I LOVE THEM ALL. 😍

💕

Our last Easter as a family of three! Jack has no idea. Hahaha.

The weather has been on and off, but Andrew and I have been sneaking in a couple walks on the warm days now that I’m finally feeling a bit better. (I LOVE you, 2nd trimester.)

And I walked with this pretty lady in our blue shoes.

We celebrated Andrew and Gabby’s birthdays with the Boswell clan at Top Golf.

Stud. 😉

We spent Andrew’s birthday with pancakes and bacon for breakfast (we looked ridic in the morning, so no pictures lol), and we ended the day with Cheesecake Factory, of course! And Star Wars. 😊 I love this handsome man! ❤️

And today, I got to meet my perfect NIECE!! 💕 I’ll post pictures next week after Mom and Dad have announced. 😊

Happy weekend, loves!

-Cait

When God Says No

I wrote the second part of this post before we found out we were pregnant. I rewrote it multiple times, saved at least 20 different drafts of it, and I just couldn’t bring myself to post it. It’s probably a good thing I didn’t, because the month I was thinking about posting it is the month we found out we were pregnant. I want to share it with you all now to encourage those of you still on that longer-than-you-expected road to baby. I know those tears, I know that ache in the pit of your stomach, and I know how it feels to wonder if God will ever answer your prayers. Keep going. God told me no so that he could give me the most perfectly-timed yes – in a time and way I did not expect. And it’s cliche-sounding, but it’s true. His timing is always perfect.

There’s a slight ache in the pit of my stomach as I type and contemplate sharing this post. It’s not the norm for my typically happy-go-lucky personality, and my fear is that it will invoke pity or unnecessary advice (no offense lol). BUT I think there is something powerful about the way God uses our vulnerability. It’s raw and painful and real, but it can be exactly what someone else needs to hear to let them know they’re not alone. My hope is that this post finds and encourages someone else who is waiting on God to say yes. You’re not alone, but more importantly – God is still faithful.

I very specifically, very Biblically, and very desperately asked the Lord for something last year. And God told me no.

I asked daily for months. I dove into my Bible, I came before the Lord time and time again, and for what felt like forever, I asked for a baby. My hopes were so high, and my plans were so great! We were going to get pregnant right away – I just knew it. We don’t smoke. We don’t drink. We go to church. So naturally, I’m right at the front of the line to be granted my request from God, right?!

God told me no.

I begged him to let me get pregnant before we went on a vacation with our families. I had all the symptoms, even missed a cycle (TMI, sorry), and I was positive there was a baby growing inside me. We were going to tell our parents on the beach right around sunset. It was a PERFECT plan.

God told me no.

Then I told God I would settle for the next month. Surely he just wanted us to be able to tell the whole crew together at our annual family pictures. Brilliant! So I prayed more and more, and I waited for the good news to come.

God told me no.

Months went by, and my plans fell through over and over again when every month passed with another no. I thought maybe God just wanted us to really enjoy Christmas this year, so I would definitely have to be pregnant by Christmas. My prayers were less frequent by now. I tried not to get my hopes up, but when I wasn’t pregnant yet again, my heart sank.

As a planner, I was furious. My dreams for the year were shattered; my plans felt ruined. Facebook and Instagram flooded us with pregnancy announcements, with pictures of beautiful babies and toddlers and expecting mamas, and the hurt was so deep some days that I left work to go home and sob on the floor. My other job brought me dozens of adorable babies to photograph, and while I was 100% overjoyed for the families I was photographing, I would still find myself leaving some shoots feeling empty and worn. It was ROUGH, friends.

Near the start of the year, my heart turned bitter for a few dark days – days full of weeping and asking God what I’d done wrong. It seemed everyone around me was getting pregnant without even trying, and yet I remained empty. My desire was to raise children in the Lord – shouldn’t God be jumping on that request in a world this dark?!

“Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves.” -Psalm 68:19-20

What a compassionate Lord we serve – a God who is willing to bear our burdens. He has watched every tear fall from my face, heard every desperate prayer Andrew and I have prayed, and He has held our hearts through the darkest of days. He is still good. He still has a plan for our family. He is faithful. My heart has often been tempted to turn bitter, but I recall his faithfulness in our lives over and over again. He is SO GOOD.

And I have to remember other times God said no to his children. He said no when Job asked God to take his life. He said no when Paul asked for a thorn in his flesh to be removed. He said no when Jesus asked for a painful cup to be taken away from him.

God’s plans are so much bigger and greater than ours, and as much as it frustrates my planning heart some days, it’s also freeing to know he’s in control and I’m not. If my plans are awesome (and they totally are), how much better will his be!

When God says no, it can only mean there is a greater, more exciting and fulfilling YES coming.

On the other side of this post, I stare at my belly (which is still tiny at 14 weeks pregnant and currently just looks like I’ve had one too many slices of pizza) and I marvel at the miraculous ways God works. On the day I found out I was pregnant, the verse at the top of my planner was James 1:17, “Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father.” The week following was Luke 1:45, “Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her.” God is so. faithful. Hold on for that perfect “yes” that’s coming. ❤️

-Cait

The First of Many Stories

After trying to get pregnant for several long, painful, tear-filled months, the appearance of two little pink lines felt like an out-of-body experience. My hands were shaking, my heart was pounding, and I’m sure God was laughing. 😉 I took four more tests to make sure, and what’s comical is how annoyed I was with my body for the cycle being off that month. I assumed it was being wacky because I was stressed or not eating enough calories (I definitely was by the way). I took the test almost out of spite. As I set the stick down, I said to myself, “I know I’m not pregnant.” I was about to get a bath and impatiently waited for the test to finish. When the lines appeared, I jumped back, freaked out, and quickly grabbed additional tests to confirm what I was sure wasn’t possible. The other tests showed positive one by one, and while the rest is kinda a blur, I know my heart had never felt so full! I crouched on the bathroom floor in tears and praised God like a madwoman. 😂 The long months of pain and disappointment disappeared, and my heart exploded with joy and shock.

Two weeks before finding out I was pregnant, I retweeted one of my favorite authors, Bob Goff. The phrase immediately came back to my mind: “God delights in surprising us.” ❤️ And just minutes before I went into the bathroom and spontaneously decide to take a test, I had been reading Psalm 40:1-4, verses I have clung to the last several months. “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him. Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord.”

My hands shook for a good hour. Andrew had gone to work before I tested, so thankfully I had the house to myself to freak out a tad. I messily scribbled prayers in my Bible journal, wrote in my Baby Boswell journal, and I started to plan. I think Jack thought I was having a heart attack. The planner in me had been dying for all these months of not being able to control anything, and I ran down the hallways excitedly and yelled, “I get to plan!!!” 😂 Jack circled around me anxiously as I rapidly cleaned the house and pulled out our “baby box” full of clothes and books and little pieces of our baby dreams. I got busy setting up this to surprise Andrew.

Jack is winking, but I’m 95% sure he has no idea what’s going on still.

The best best best moment ever was finally getting to tell my husband that he was a daddy. I wish I could go back and relive it over and over! He was so surprised and excited, and we were absolute basket cases. Haha. We celebrated with dinner at Longhorn, shopping at Carter’s and Target, and then we finished the night by watching the movie The Kid. 😉 It was the best. day. ever.

The next two weeks, we managed to keep the secret (it was torture) so that we could surprise our families together at a fake surprise party right before my birthday. Best birthday ever. (Their reaction is in a video at the end of this post.)

Safe to say they’re excited. 😉

Aunt Gabby and Uncle Tanner were out of town when we told the fam, so they got their own surprise the next night. 😉

I was so excited to tell my best friend, because I’ve had this hedgehog book (she loves hedgehogs lol) for so long waiting to use!

Right after I told Kristi, we had a Hideaway dinner with Brette and spilled the beans with this adorable onesie Kristi bought me. Baby will obviously be a pizza fan. 🍕

I am infinitely glad I videoed everyone’s reactions. I have watched this so many times. 😂 Enjoy our Baby Boswell reaction reel. 😉

More stories, more pictures, more happy things to come. 😊 Thank you all for the overwhelming support and encouragement already. We are so thankful!

-Cait

P.S. Yes, Jack has begun to prepare. 😉